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Geeklawyer’s temporary chambers

Geeklawyer film reviews

Yes, what the flying fuck does this have to do with law? Nothing. Report me to the Bar Council.

Sweeney Todd.

One of Geeklawyer’s punters (one of only two who knows he writes this blog) described him as “a bit brutal“; there was the question about whether a note he had drafted to be handed up to the High Court judge was going to upset him a bit by it’s aggressive tone. Genuinely perplexed Geeklawyer thought it a masterpiece of subtle understatement doing no more than hinting that his Lordship may ultimately incur the displeasure of the Court of Appeal. Such an assessment has been made before of Geeklawyer and equally unfairly.

So, you may not be entirely surprised that Geeklawyer thought Sweeney Todd was blindingly terrific. Exquisitely acted, beautifully filmed and composed and musically great: Depp does a magnificent duet with Judge Turpin in the Barber’s chair. Johnny Depp apparently say’s that he can’t sing. Bollocks.

Based, it seems, on a Sondheim musical it takes a different tack from other versions of the play. Johnny Depp is a barber who is whisked away to Australia for a crime he didn’t commit so that the evil Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) may have his wicked way with the pretty wife. Todd makes his way back after 15 years in the hell that is Australia and the fun begins.

Geeklawyer recalls seeing other versions of this play. The BBC did an astonishingly good version early last year with Ray Winston equally good and deeply but differently textured.

The theme of the play is irony and the cancerous malevolence of revenge. Nonsense of course. Revenge is the emotion that distinguishes us from the apes – not the ability to use a fucking knife and fork. But revenge should not, contrary to the old saying, be cold, but rather as hot fresh and salty as gushing arterial blood.

The film is all about profound tragic love and the ultimate doom of fate crossed lovers. So, somewhat like Romeo and Juliet, it’s a chick flick.

But a chick flick with throat slitting. How cool is that? This is one film you can take some totty to see at the cinema and pretend to cry at the sad ending, while secretly reveling in the sanguinary tide of crimson love juice.

Oh yes, there will be razors.

February 19, 2008 - Posted by | films, Uncategorized


  1. A man after my own heart. I highly recommend Suicide Club

    Comment by lo-fi | February 19, 2008 | Reply

  2. May there be more film reviews from you GL. I thought Sweeny Todd was abso-tively fucking ace, and have been annoying my cockerny relatives with my impressions since. You’re absolutely right that it crosses its genre, friends have said they won’t go on the basis it’s a musical. Musicals can be absolute luvvie garbage a lot of the time, but the songs, the washed out lifeless colours of the film against the vivid red of the blood, our sympathy with these loveable human butchers and the tragedy of the whole thing all mesh together perfectly.

    But whatever you do, don’t go to see Cloverfield. Absolute toss.

    Comment by Usefully Employed | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  3. My Dear Geek,

    How very Alan Shore of you.

    Hi UE,

    Thank GOD I’m not the only one who thinks Cloverfield is a pile of pooh!

    Comment by lawminx | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  4. a film about murder – you’re a barasta (or however you upper class scum spell it); that’s insytemunt and i will have the beloved tony and the police on you
    nuff sed

    Comment by simply wondered | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  5. Oh no, its the BlairNutters back…

    Comment by geeklawyer | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  6. I think it was my fear of vertigo that prevented me going to Cloverfield – but if the rest of it apart from the camera work was crap I’m very relieved.

    Comment by geeklawyer | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  7. Surely complaints would be to the Bar Standards Board?

    How much longer are you going to have to squat?

    Comment by Scheherazade | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  8. Scheherazade: yes it would.

    I’m going to have to squa nutil I can find time to unfuck my proper blog which has had a suspiciously timed software failure.

    Comment by geeklawyer | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  9. My Dear Geek,

    You are wrong.

    Revenge should be eaten cold, when the victim least suspects it. What could be better, on a dark night, than to cleave a barrister’s head from his shoulders and volley it into a nearby dustbin?

    It would spoil the pleasure no end if this did not take the victim by surprise.

    Comment by james c | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  10. How do we know that you’re really you? You might have been hauled away by secret police who couldn’t figure out how to start your regular blog?

    Comment by Mr. Mike | February 20, 2008 | Reply

  11. Geek…great movie isn’t it? And Depp can sing too. And the throat slitting, so poetic. Lovely gory stuff. And Bonham Carter is ace too.

    Comment by emmak | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  12. I thought Bonham-Carter was a little bit weak perhaps but at least she didn’t bollox it up like planet of the apes: I mean, really, how can any actress make a chimp seem sexually unattractive for fuck sake?

    Comment by geeklawyer | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  13. Mike: you can be sure it’s me since every electron used in this post is digitally signed.

    Comment by geeklawyer | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  14. Geek,

    Is the plot complicated?

    Comment by james C | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  15. ‘Surely complaints would be to the Bar Standards Board?’

    i agree they should be held to account, but am unsure whether they are actually to blame for cloverfield. maybe we could get it jr’d?

    Comment by simply wondered | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  16. James_c: Man is shat on. Seeks revenge. Gets revenge. Revenge is sour and hurts him again. People sing, People die.

    Comment by geeklawyer | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  17. I like the short version of the review very much. It appeals to my capricious, whimsical nature.

    Comment by the lady robinson | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  18. Geek,

    Excellent. I am not sure that I can put up with HBC but she who must be obeyed likes JD.

    Comment by james c | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  19. JD is very good. Tell your boss that I say it’s a chick flick but you’ll willingly yield your attendance because she means that much. Just don’t tell her you like it really.

    Comment by geeklawyer | February 21, 2008 | Reply

  20. Geek,

    That seems sound advice.

    Comment by james c | February 21, 2008 | Reply

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