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Geeklawyer’s temporary chambers

CharonQC now as bad as Geeklawyer?

Geeklawyer is afraid that the outrage of CharonQC’s coverage over Prince ‘Not related to James Hewitt, honest’ Harry is not nullified by his explanation. Indeed not only does Geeklawyer share Mr Pineapple’s outrage but so does most of Austria. It is the talk of all the Apre-ski bars. Many ask Geeklawyer, as the only Brit present, what his take is on the controversy. Geeklawyer has to explain that, while a good man, CharonQC is not terribly patriotic.

The truth is that Harry is going to single handedly slaughter the Taliban and reduce their control of the country from the 10% at the moment to 0.001% at most: i.e. an outside toilet in the high mountains. Geeklawyer certainly doesn’t agree with the nonsense that he was posted to an area safer the High Street Kensington and surrounded by 100 SAS men who slaughtered every man woman and child within 10 square miles just in case they waved at him in a possibly threatening manner.

Geeklawyer may be a terrorist sympathiser and inciter but at least he is loyal to Her Majesty, Gawd bless ‘er, and her delightful progeny.

March 1, 2008 - Posted by | This Blog


  1. Geeklawyer… I am Scot but proud to be British…. I am going to get Winfield & Jolowicz out and see if they have anything to say on defamation…

    The phrase I take exception to is this: “while a good man”, clearly applied to myself… even on the most liberal of constructional analysis

    If you wish to settle immediately… please remit funds to Liechtenstein… not Jersey…. some dreadful things going on over there…

    Delighted to hear that you are holed up in a bar because of global warming… deliciously ironic.

    Comment by charonqc | March 1, 2008 | Reply

  2. […] Comments Weekend Review Part … on Muttley Dastardly LLP: Curiou…CharonQC now as bad … on A very British earthquake&#823…Andrew Keogh on Would you like some free CPD?…Mr Pineapples […]

    Pingback by Weekend Review Part I: 1 / 2 March « Charon QC…the blawg | March 1, 2008 | Reply

  3. Geeklawyer… I have written Part 1 of my ‘weekly’ Weekend Review… and… to demonstrate my patriotism… per above … I have shown a picture of HRH The Prince of Wales wearing a leek… can I have a ‘fuggin passport’ now…. ?

    Comment by charonqc | March 1, 2008 | Reply

  4. Actually… GL… I think that HRH is wearing a spring onion on his lapel… looks surprisingly like those spring onions 1.99 at Sainsbury’s…. I could be wrong… after all… I only eat food… I don’t actually talk to it… or grow it… so maybe it is best that I assume HRH knows his onions?

    Jesus… I’ve turned into Basil Brush again…. the Rioja I am drinking tonight … is pacy… with a bit of in-swing… and spin…. clearly.

    My mate Aloffhishead sends his regards… he is surfing the net…. looking at the M16 website…. to see what they are up to….

    Comment by charonqc | March 1, 2008 | Reply

  5. GL… I have been attending to matters of dress and etiquette… The Household Cavalry order of dress in every possible situation, to be precise. I have updated my blog post accordingly.

    Unfortunately, this exercise so exercised me that I have turned into a pedant… and I could not help but notice that you have committed a minor solecism… a small matter of an apostrophe in the wrong place.

    ‘Mr Pineapples’ is the name of the poster… not ‘Mr Pineapple’… therefore, according to correct usage, the apostrophe should follow the ‘s’ and not precede it.

    It matters not to me…. after all… I can barely type at this time on your website on my nocturnal visits at the weekend… but…. we must be patriotic and try and use our beautiful, royal, sceptred, language to the best of our ability…

    I do, however, note that you are 300th in line to the Burmese throne if my memory of a recent podcast is still intact… but this… as I am sure you will accept, cannot excuse solecisms….

    innit?… wotcha ! … gr8 to hear from you m8

    Comment by charonqc | March 2, 2008 | Reply

  6. I’m sure the Queen is cursing that the Taliban didn’t manage to ‘get rid’ of Hewitt Interloper.

    Comment by moon23 | March 3, 2008 | Reply

  7. My Dear Geek,

    I understand that H’s protection officers had special herb-related duties when the boy was at Slough Grammar.

    Comment by james c | March 3, 2008 | Reply

  8. why on earth would you think harry was related to some twattish guards officer with dodgy taste in women, a propensity for nite-clubbin and white powder and who was formerly in possession of rather more ginger hair than at present?

    (actually, it doesn’t narrow it down much – as i so fervently hope diana explained to charles…)

    Comment by simply wondered | March 4, 2008 | Reply

  9. Ah Geeky, the epitome of dry wit and wisdom again! After hearing your podcast with Charon (my original crush) I must tell you that your voice sent me into a tailspin of fantasy where I imagined that you looked not unlike a distinguished Ioann Gruffudd type. Your hareem of female admirers has now increased! (But don’t upsest Charon or I may have to hunt you down with Harry at my side!)

    Comment by Lawgirl | March 5, 2008 | Reply

  10. Lawgirl: thanks for your application to join the Harem. Please take a ticket & then wait to be called forward for interview at the next available booth. Estimated waiting time currently 4 hours.

    Comment by geeklawyer | March 5, 2008 | Reply

  11. 4 whole hours? I’m not that committed! I can be a harem-bunny standby! (but don’t make me wear the ears)

    Comment by Lawgirl | March 5, 2008 | Reply

  12. 4Hrs!!!!! You told me it would take a year!

    Comment by moon23 | March 5, 2008 | Reply

  13. Lawgirl: Of course Ms R did not have to wait for harem membership but she advises that it is well worth doing so. Priority access to GL for starters. And a loyalty card. Or you could apply for guest membership but then you really don’t get the full range of benefits.

    Comment by Ms Robinson | March 5, 2008 | Reply

  14. Geekie, Lawgirl has to wait four hours? I got to join the hareem nearly instantly. Mind you, I did declare my undying devotion and loyalty from the get-go a few years ago.

    Wonder who Girl No.1 is…..

    Comment by opinionatedbean | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  15. OB: With respect, you were there before there was a harem. I think you’re being every so slightly cheeky asking about Girl No 1. Surely a good Sheik never tells

    Comment by Ms Robinson | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  16. Well it’s not Ms R since she is struggling to leave comments here. They keep disappearing.

    Comment by Ms Robinson | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  17. Oh I despair of youth. Not even willing to wait a piffling 4 hours?
    I blame the schools of course not the totty. Even my ex, who went to Rodean – where breeding is a speciality, would insist I ‘finish her off’ in under 4 hours. Lawgirl is lucky i am as tolerant as I am modest & prepared to indulge her.
    OB&MsR: all new harem members have to strip naked & wrestle in mud to get their ranking

    Comment by geeklawyer | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  18. Ah Geekie, the sight of me naked would scare acorns. I am willing to give pride of place to Ms R as Girl No.1.

    Is Minxie part of this hareem as well?

    Comment by opinionatedbean | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  19. The Daily Mirror has a headline today… “Warrior Prince Harry back in Chelsea”… – Harry and Chelsy pictured together.

    I am pleased GL… that you are still viral / virile / virulent…

    For my part… I am smoking roll ups and wondering how to do a perfect roll. In your case, I suspect, ‘roll’ is more a case of a skiing manoeuvre…. or possibly a move of a different nature…. but chacun a son gout.

    I have had a note from ‘above’ reminding me that it is Lent and that I should abstain….

    I had to hit the ‘unsubscribe’ button immediately. I have no idea who signed me up as a subscriber to

    I am reflecting on the possibility that there is life in South London, after watching a recent Horizon programme… anything is possible…. and, a quick search of Google maps reveals some indication of life in that part of London…

    “That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.”
    Boris Johnson reported as he finally crossed The Thames to see what actually went on on the other side of Blackfriars Bridge.

    I resolved to vote for Boris immediately… and started playing ‘Jerusalem’ on my hapsichord as I watched the live transmission from SE1.

    A Police Community Support Officer has just knocked at my door to ask me if I am going to cut my hedge – warning me, that if I did not do so, they would take my hedge into custody.

    I asked if he would like me to sing something else… perhaps the old Soviet National Anthem…. He declined but asked if I knew the words to The Village People song “YMCA”. I did…

    When I had taken off my Indian Headress and changed into my yellow hard hat, I asked, that if he did take my hedge into custody, he would be Putin it into care or sectioning it…

    The PCSO smiled and said “Don’t worry, Sir, we will make sue it is left Lenining against a wall overnight.”

    At this point… I changed and started singing a bit of Wagner…. nothing like a Ride of the Valkyries…..

    And…. it was at this point that I found myself in the back of a large white van, with my errant hedge, appearing on next Tuesday’s late night episode of Police, Camera, Acttion.

    I have a very busy life….

    Comment by charonqc | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  20. “Tolerant as you are modest” (snort)….”youth of today”….lucky old me…;) I am surprised that for a fine vintage such as yourself a mere four hours would suffice. Not selling yourself a little short?! However, I shall take Ms Rs advice…anyone with a figure like that should be listened to (well that’s my logic anyway). I shall be expecting a guilded pass approx 4 hrs from now.

    Comment by Lawgirl | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  21. Listen, I could out-kabaddi the lot..possibly with the exception of Ms R – she looks wily. But there may be injuries to the boobular area. I hope you are proficient in first aid.

    Comment by Lawgirl | March 6, 2008 | Reply

  22. Lawgirl: Ms R should warn you that GL is liable to change his mind about members of the harem at any point: why only today he threatened to expel her after finding out she was flirting elsewhere. Ms R pointed out her hours of loyal service and devotion to the GL cause but he announced he was off to drink cider.

    Don’t fall for the naked wrestling: I believe he has a lucrative deal with You Tube

    Comment by Ms Robinson | March 7, 2008 | Reply

  23. MsR: you, as a tyrant in your own right, must understand that a dictator must exercise his power in an unfair unreasonable and quixotic manner.

    In fact your complaint highlights my benign character. I merely threatened to expel you from my harem should you execute your threat to sleep with another man if I declined to service you – any decent dictator would expel you from life.

    Comment by geeklawyer | March 7, 2008 | Reply

  24. Thankfully… GL is not gay…

    But I’m not gay either…. I may be a bit pissed at times… but for god’s sake don’t tell Dawn Primarolo. I can cope with Police Community Support Officers turning up to demand that I cut my hedge…. but I don’t think I could cope with Primarolo sifting through my bins to see how many Rioja bottles I leave out on a Monday morning….

    Comment by charonqc | March 7, 2008 | Reply

  25. I sympathise deeply. Nothing worse than a woman nagging a man over drink. No1 does that: a lot.

    Comment by geeklawyer | March 7, 2008 | Reply

  26. See OB, now you know who no.1 is and it’s obviously Miss Ruthie.

    Comment by Ms Robinson | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  27. But when you’re No1 there is only one way to go.

    Comment by Geeklawyer | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  28. On to a pedestal?

    Comment by Ms Robinson | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  29. “On to a pedestal?’ very witty MsR

    She is already on a pedestal, unfortunately her terrible taste in shoes means she keeps falling off.

    Comment by geeklawyer | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  30. Bertrand Russell (or some other wanker) once said “Geeklawyer is a total prat but by god we love him”. You know, I really feel at one with that nibble of insight. You are a prat, a beautiful wonderful darling prat. Also, next time try skying in Australia, much better.

    Comment by juxtajazz | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  31. I would ski in Australia but I can’t find any skis with corks attached.

    Comment by geeklawyer | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  32. Ruthie will always be the delightful thorn in Geek’s side, this is true. As much as he abuses her verbally, questions her taste in shoes (and I did go shoe shopping with her, she’s got a penchant for spikey black heels) he will always have a soft spot for her.

    But MsR, she can be toppled from her position. With careful planning, an array of suggestive underwear and the occassional bit of pasties I’m sure you could convince Geekie you should be No.1.

    Comment by opinionatedbean | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  33. Geeklawyer…. as my cousin Cardinal Charoni di Tempranillo often says… “Man who is born of woman…. needs a drink”. I leave you with that thought.

    In the meantime… I am off to watch the Calcutta Cup. They are singing the National Anthem at the moment and soon, no doubt, my fellow Scots will be singing that awful dirge… Flower of Scotland”.

    Flower of Scotland?… god help us… they throw flowers into the deep fat fish fryers along with the mars bars where I come from…

    Jesus.. the dirge hhas started… I cannot stand that song… Scotland The Brave would have been better…. or even an adaptation of the well known Rod Stewart song… “We are drinking… we are drinking… da da da da da… etc”

    Any kick – off

    a piu tarde

    Comment by charonqc | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  34. OB:Ms R’s educated guess is that Ruthie will always stand alone besides which it seems that she does have to put up with an indordinate amount of taunting from GL. Indeed the tumultuous two remind Ms R of Burton and Taylor. No OB, Ms R is happy to hang in the hareem with the rest of the lower numbers. Just don’t tell GL she sneaks out to the Harem across the desert when she wants a night of really filthy sex.

    Comment by Ms Robinson | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  35. GL… inspired by the Scots winning the Calcutta Cup rubgy match… I have decided to try a new line in podcasts…. “Charon After Dark”

    Of course, I had to refer to this very post…. I may well have enjoyed some Rioja while watching the rugby… and that may well be evident in my new podcast… I interview myself… an unusual concept to be sure

    Comment by charonqc | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  36. GL… inspired by the Scots winning the Calcutta Cup rubgy match… I have decided to try a new line in podcasts…. “Charon After Dark”

    Of course, I had to refer to this very post…. I may well have enjoyed some Rioja while watching the rugby… and that may well be evident in my new podcast… I interview myself… an unusual concept to be sure

    Comment by charonqc | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  37. GL… I have a new concept… I interview myself… “Charon After Dark”

    Of course.. I have to mention this very post… indeed… in some depth

    Comment by charonqc | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  38. Sorry for the multiple posting… it did not seem to be working earlier on… mea culpa

    At least we won the Calcutta Cup…. hey…. life can be good sometimes 🙂

    Comment by charonqc | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  39. Ms R, I have been sneaking across the desert for years myself, so I won’t tell a soul. I prefer being within the hareem itself and not worrying about position – there’s a certain level of comfort, and it’s stress free.

    Comment by opinionatedbean | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  40. I have ridden in the desert near Luxor… hard work, but fun … I have also ridden a camel… at a gallop… that was exciting…. in fact… I’d like to do itagain.. but when I did a ‘Google’ search… no entries for Camel riding in West London… so I shall have to go to Egypt again…

    Comment by charonqc | March 8, 2008 | Reply

  41. Speaking as a Bar Student and, therefore, lower than Whale Pooh in the Geek Hareem Hierarchy I have never been party to cross desert raids on other camps of the same or similar nature; why didn’t you girls tell me?! *Tear Stained Sniffle* 😦

    Comment by lawminx | March 12, 2008 | Reply

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