The Squat

Geeklawyer’s temporary chambers

Proper blog back up

Last week was a bit mental: back from skiing plus the Transformational Government conference and two trials. With all that over Geeklawyer has been able to restore the real blog. Now he just has to prepare for the renewed DoS attack!

This blog will be kept as a backup – ‘just in case‘.


March 16, 2008 Posted by | This Blog | Leave a comment

Apropo nothing much

You see. Geeklawyer is an Internet junkie. He has come to this slow dawning realisation. It is a little sad when other geeks, with whom one is on holiday, say “Have you been able to feed your Internet addiction today?”: the said Internet geeks being an uber geek for THE Swiss Internet company, and the guy who, well, keeps Google on the Internet.


While they frolicked in the snow, broke legs on snow boards, drank Gluhwein in the bars Geeklawyer traipsed between Innsbruck Mayrhofen and Hintertux looking for any obliging electron he could find in a dark alley. Many a conversation began “Can you get me to Gmail? or” Money was exchanged promises of an open WiFi point offered “in just a second sir, honest”. To no avail. All Geeklawyer could do was manage a few quick dirty moments with a Yesss GPRS Sim card courtesy of a friend;s unlocked phone. For yes, Geeklawyer had taken a locked phone on holiday. What a total cock. No wonder cheap local data only sims didn’t work.

Geeklawyer did in past years spend the holiday walking up mountains rather than skiing down them and acquired the reputation all Englishmen abroad seek: that of the crazy man. The beer, admiration and gluhwein flowed freely. The Austrian women did not.

But all this is geekery and Geeklawyer must turn the treadmill to entertain his harem. The mysterious unknown No1, who will not deign to comment. The new and luxurious exotic Asian babe Lawgirl the dependant exciting MsR who defines for herself an entire category of sexual adventure: Margaret Thatcher was Jane Austen compared to this lady, and Lady is no lightly awarded epithet. Nor could one fail to mention Geeklawyer’s dependable loyal and devoted Lieutenant.

Tish pish. Geeklawer is drunk and rambling. He has spent the afternoon at a CAMRA beer festival where he behaved disgracefully as did he in a Chinese restaurant afterwards.

He is not apologetic: he is full of the joys of the morphia like joys of the blog. This has not been a classic or worthy post, but it feeds an addiction.

March 8, 2008 Posted by | This Blog | 3 Comments

CharonQC now as bad as Geeklawyer?

Geeklawyer is afraid that the outrage of CharonQC’s coverage over Prince ‘Not related to James Hewitt, honest’ Harry is not nullified by his explanation. Indeed not only does Geeklawyer share Mr Pineapple’s outrage but so does most of Austria. It is the talk of all the Apre-ski bars. Many ask Geeklawyer, as the only Brit present, what his take is on the controversy. Geeklawyer has to explain that, while a good man, CharonQC is not terribly patriotic.

The truth is that Harry is going to single handedly slaughter the Taliban and reduce their control of the country from the 10% at the moment to 0.001% at most: i.e. an outside toilet in the high mountains. Geeklawyer certainly doesn’t agree with the nonsense that he was posted to an area safer the High Street Kensington and surrounded by 100 SAS men who slaughtered every man woman and child within 10 square miles just in case they waved at him in a possibly threatening manner.

Geeklawyer may be a terrorist sympathiser and inciter but at least he is loyal to Her Majesty, Gawd bless ‘er, and her delightful progeny.

March 1, 2008 Posted by | This Blog | 41 Comments

Postcard from Austria

Dearest beloved and most devoted blog readers.
Geeklawyer did say that that he would dismiss you from his mind for the duration of his skiing holiday. Alas, like an old mistress well past her prime who is now given to nagging and gratuitous vexatious interventions, Geeklawyer cannot, nonetheless, refrain from delivering affection and devotion against all common sense. He pines for MsR, Mary and Ruthie and, well, all the Geeklawyer harem. *sob*

He has had a peculiar Skiing holiday so far: two days and the holy planks have yet to be attached to his feet. So far he has spent the first and second days procuring affordable telecommunications resource with which to indulge his Internet habit.

On the first day it was a half day trip to Mayerhofen to buy a ‘Data Only’ SIM card for his phone. Followed, this was, by a drinking session in a pub that left the good intent to ski for the remaining day in tatters.

The second day the SIM card was found not to work. A collective of Geeks (a Nerd? A Linux?) then decoded cryptic German SIM error messages to divine that Geeklawyer’s phone was still locked. Geeklawyer then attempted, in the bar over a beer, to negotiate with T-Mobile in the UK an unlock code in the manner previously used to coerce concessions from a hard-nosed opponent in a multi million dollar IP deal. This time however, he failed. He was a little puzzled amused and flattered that his mild attempts to extract a change of position in T-Mobile were regarded by his skiing chums as a massively aggressive and an intimidating attack of Geeklawyer in full-on Nazi lawyer mode.

It is at times like this that one wonders if one’s profession, like the holding of the One Ring to Bind Them All, skew’s one’s character perception and soul in a manner perceptible only to others. One hopes not.

The Austrians have decided Geeklawyer is irredeemably weird: his choice of fasting on Mondays and Fridays while drinking beer an walking up mountains rather than skiing down them.

Rather having degenerate sex with Austrian/German totty Geeklawyer has spend the last hour in the basement of his hotel with a German chum circumventing the vagaries of Windows in an attempt to connect his Data SIM to a mobile & then to a laptop and thence for a sharing of this connection with Geeklawyer’s Macbook.

Yes, Geeklawyer’s head span too. But it has all been worth it as you can now read his drunken perusings. For it is Friday. Geeklawyer walked up a mountain today, fasted, but drank beer and schnapps. so his chums and the Austrians think he is behaving rather oddly. They may be right. This post may thus make less sense even than normal. The typing and grammar may be more egregious than usual. Geeklawyer would apologise but he imagines that you are so pleased to hear from him that you won’t whine too much.

Tomorrow is yet another odd day: a hurricane, Yes! a hurricane, in Austria. Speeds of 190Km/hour winds are expected to descend. Unsurprisingly all skiing is off.

Oh dear. Geeklawyer will have to spend the day in the pub.

February 29, 2008 Posted by | This Blog | | 14 Comments

Off skiing

Geeklawyer is spending 10 days in Austria. While he loves you all and cares for you in a deep non-sexually threatening way he cannot pretend he will give you a moments thought once he puts the holy planks on his feet.

Yes, that is a little offensive it’s true but he thinks it appropriate that lla relationships should be honest ones. OK he may think of the ladies a teeny teeny bit: Ruthie, MsRobinson, Lawminx and OpinionatedBean and only insists on honesty from you.

Most of the rest of his time will be spent getting drunk eating bad Austrian mountain restaurant food and trying to pull Germany totty with lines such as: “Hey tussi! blasen me ein” – it’s not worked yet but statistics can’t be beaten.

Geeklawyer may blog from the resort but it’ll depend on connectivity which is somewhat flaky there.

February 26, 2008 Posted by | This Blog | 7 Comments

Podcast with Charon

Geeklawyer just did a podcast with Charon on filesharing – among other topics. The sound is awful at Geeklawyer’s end and that is his fault not CharonQC’s, but it is still a good listen.

Hear it here.

February 24, 2008 Posted by | blogging, This Blog | , , | 6 Comments

Ubiquitous? has described Geeklawyer as ubiquitous. Geeklawyer had always thought omnipotent was better. It ponders that he must not get much work done. Had he not known better he’d would have sworn that that line was written by my failed co-blogger. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. Geeklawyer works massively fast – tho’ work is a little light at the moment it’s true. Apart from that he is disappointed that his mention on the column doesn’t really amount to much more than this comment. Ho hum.

Simon Myerson does a good review of the site.

February 21, 2008 Posted by | love sex, the Bar, This Blog | , , | 15 Comments

Piss takers

Since some of you – and you know who you are – are insistent on taking the piss out of his aesthetic choices Geeklawyer has changed themes again.

He has yielded to those who would suppress his artistic freedom of speech. There, you Saddam and North Korea lovers. Happy now? Good, because Mother Democracy weeps tears into her silk hanky.

February 15, 2008 Posted by | This Blog | | 23 Comments